A trip to remember!

Yes its been nearly an year since I last posted. Duuuude!! been really busy man!
Looked like any other week, hectic with lotta pending items( read as ARs-action requests) with abnormal weekdays {Maddening Mondays, Threatening Tuesdays, Weird Wednesdays, Tiring Thursdays, dead fridays }and boring weekends, a vicious cycle thats been repeating.

Came thursday night and a plot unfolded, promised to be an awwsummm experience and yes it was simbbblyy phuntastic. How things fall in place. I had been craving for a break since sometime now and I was presented with one. Guess SRKs dialogue in OSO ..( shiddat ,kayanat and stuff) really holds :).

So after this dinner plan where i was invited on this "chance great outing", I hadda meeting which would decide whether I would/would not be going.
And as it was to be I was going( decided at 1:19 AM in the morning) and i sounded the trumpet so that everyone could hear that "Yes I m game!".

The next two hours went in the searching, more searching(cursing "me"self on not finding things) and then ironing andd finally packing , and wallah it was 3:30 AM.
I snuggled for an hour or two and at the break of daylight was on the road trip.
My road trips usually start with "wild Chick chases", be it nandi hills last time or coorg this time. So there we were searching for the house of my colleague( ex- nitie) where my frend and her frend were put up.Luckily this was a short one and we got them and started off.

The next 5-6 hours was a typical drive with breaks (some for loading and some downloading :D) followed by our great search for the rafting area and there we were finally at the place where i was supposed to face my greatest fear to date..( fear of water..I dint know swimming dude :) ) and to top that up we were made to sign up on a " I m a fool that i am taking this dive, these guys have warned me but i m too damn stubborn to listen to them. If anything happens to me , please pass on my will to these guys" , kinda letter. I was like they should ask us to sign on a blank sheet of paper instead of all this mumbo jumbo.

We signed and got on with the training of what to do , how to do things in the raft. Ashok was our navigator and Rakesh our leader. Then we reached the middle of the lake where i was asked to try suicide ( jump in the lake !!! i dunno swimming for god's sake). And i was very reluctant but no one would listen to me and I was pushed into it. I hit the water with great force and started struglling ( bachao .. bacho and stuff :) !!) after a while i stopped struggling and i was afloat... while i lay afloat it struck me that this was a simulation of real life.
Like the jump into the lake, reality forces itself onto you even though you want to stay in the comfort zone.Then you struggle a lot fearing for your life and for what you love. But only when you stop struggling and stay cool do you stay afloat. Life has lessons for takers in simplest of events.

After that the rapids were a cake walk...."cool as a cucumber" describes the aplomb with which i dealt with the dangers that lay ahead :) . To top it up was our last try where we tried to go upstream, which infact was a move, we later learnt to cap size us.!!!! :D gawd...

We were pretty excited and high even after the NDE( near death experience for me) :)!!
We headed back to the forest resort.. the greatest experience i had that trip.
we were right in the middle of a jungle in a tent, with gruntlings around, weird cricket noises and above all stood the scenic beauty. The emotion - fear mixed with awe- is a deadly combo, I must admit.

We hogged on the sumptuous making of the chef in our resort :)!! literallly double than what i usually have. We were waiting for the camp fire to start wen it began to pour down so we headed back to our tent and stay put there.

We were served another round of hot stuff.. Just Imagineeee!
You having hot pakodas, peanuts watching it rain outside :) !! For me its one of the best feelings one can feelllllll!
This was followed by a lotta chitchat with the people i dint know and some I did.. whats this, whats that, why this and why that and more. Suddenly the rain gave up on us and we had a clear sky at our disposal. I watched the MILKY WAY with bare eyes man... another heart warming moment.....

This was followed by a lot more mumbo jumbo at the fire site with half the people drunk and half sleepy :) and I hit the sack in a bit.
The guzzlers continued through the night.. and I was cursing everyone for disturbing my sleep :D. We got up early next day to catch a trek around the camp and clicked some cool pics before we headed out.

Our next destination was a water fall which was to be reached after a short trek. Again a superb experience to say the least. Followed by a trip to the tibetan monastry at Kushal nagar where i somehow felt so small at the feet of those marvellous 60 ft idols. The temples were painted in vibrant colours with splendid paintings depicting a number of historic events. I sat there trying to draw parallel between what i have learnt in my own religion and the depictions. It was one great spiritual experience and I felt at peace with myself.

This was followed by two hours of aimless shopping in the tibetan stores around and then we headed back for bangalore. We reached our frend's home well past midnight and then chatted for some bit explaining in great detail the short ttrip we had had before we hit the sack. Next day was a rush, I had to return to my place and a couple others had to head back to mumbai. I got back fresh from the trip and tired from the next day's work that was looking in my face.


But all in all it was one trip that I m going to remember for times to come.
BTW white water rafting ---- CHECK! Sur you check it down too. :D

Friends for ever!

Disclaimer: I thought I would send ya guys a greeting, but thought that was too common so i did the next best( read as 'free') thing, published a note in my blog!!

I have been watching a lotta "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" lately and with each passing episode, I see a reflection of how we were, what we used to do and how we used to kill time. And with each passing moment, I realize ....Frenship is a celebration for life.... for the fights, for the gossip, for the fun, for the outings,hmm..... for the heck of it.

People sometimes say that they are unique individuals. Ha! I don believe that!
What I believe is that each of us is a carefully sewn reflection of the frends we have. I wud like to say I had lotta frends, but I wud rather say ...I have had my share of frends (read as few close ones) some still with me and some not and I shud agree, I have assimilated each of them in my world in different ways.

The best part about beings frends I say was the neva endings conversations.... the round robin method used to call ya guys... and then discuss about things from the mundane to the outlandish... freaking my parents off..cozz of the fone bills..( read as ...they thought wud be affairs);)

The outings were too good to be true... we just used to flock together each day as if we had no other work( we dint). Just go places....accounts always running in the negative...bikes always in the reserves, but we still found money to go where we had to..the movies, the CCDs, the restuarants... oh they were too gud. And if none of us had any money left, the most obvious choice pathu's home. :) Special mention to the budday parties made all the more special with the extra effort for the celebration at the 0 th hr ( waise hum cake ke liya kahin bhi jaa sakte hain :)).. yes also to the discs and dance parties we hv been to ...man did we hava blast ( but pappu( read as rajesh) cant dance saala )

How can I forget the combined studies dudes.... man those were the BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE..OH YA!!! Exams had all of us in splits. The last day batting was more thrilling with our forming small groups and then callin each other after each hr to keep updating each of us of what we been upto...I guess all will agree...

OOPS nearly forgot... the fights... yuppp i enjoyed them, and when i think about it, guess I had one with each one of ya.... a rare distinction in the group (I hope). I confess though that each fight made me a better person. each leaving frends made me a better frend. I hope this is the best left :).

I don often say this to ya guys, but I luv ya and yes each one of ya is special to me and a small part of me.


HAPPY FRENDSHIP ( days; come and go)..!

Munna bhai MBA !!!

Disclaimer: Boletho!!!!

The first time I ever thought of an MBA. the main reason was I was very dissatisfied with my monotonous life.. I was shit(seems that the word is a lot in favor these days!) angry with my bosses and for once I had decided that its better to do the crap than to bear it!! And there I was on my way into the insti.. with dreams big. I will be a 'Finance guy', I told all my colleagues and frends ( wat eva tht meant!! had no idea of profiles or companies at tht time.. but tht seemed a gud thing to say..so i did!)

The initial days in the insti were real confusing ( not tht life's less confusing now). I was up against a microcosm of the soon to be stalwarts of the corporate world and I took time adjusting!! People here dreamed big and spoke even bigger.. And I felt for sometime like a nobody in this place of who's who.

In the first module, all I did was studying...Arey bhai I had come with an aim...and had to fulfil it at any cost... no sports..no outings..no galssss.... no nuthngs.....
but by the end of tht module I realised tht MBA was a myth... a fart ..a urban legend...and anythng but true....

That time I decided that chuck it.. in a year or so I will be back to corporate life... so lets freak out!! and have neva looked back eva since...

The rest of the MBA was pretty much the same...

900 --- sleeping
900-905 --- O shit... class is abt to start!!... get ready and rush to class
910-140- sleep in class

140- 210----- lunch
220 --- 5 sleep again
5-630--- sports

635--- start discusion for goin out by sendin a group 'DBAB'--" Junta I m getting bored..lets get goin"
640-730---- pros and corns of goin to one place and not the other...
730-800 --- may be bath :)
800 -830 ----- more bakar abt where to go!
830-900 --- wait for ppl ( standing in the crossfire of PPOs :) )
910--1200--- HOGG and feel guilty abt how much we ate..
1200-300 -- movie..
300--400-- soap opera//..
400- start --- sleeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!



Other thn this had a couple pof great outings to places like...

Karjat--- was a ice breaking session for me with the entire gang..
Kashid and Murud Janjira -- What a place to be!!
GOa-- No comments.. the fun was accentuated by groom to be///SHONA// and Manas hysterics//
Matheran...

During summers the entire week went in discussions as to where to go over the weekend... we went far and wide...
Nandi hills, Mysore, Seringapatna,COORG, Hogenakkal falls.... which was follwed by my adventure trip to ESSEL world.. where i played multiple roles.. that of a camera man... bag holder.....personal assistant...etc...for all people who went for he rides :)!

So with this background I entered the corporate world..and had some very intersting... jaw-dropping replies to many a question the corporate had in store for me...typical examples being..

1Q What is ROI....
Ans.. Asleep nearly...suddenly awakened by the question... sir....errrrr.. ya ...
u make investments... u get returns,these returns that u get for the investements tht u make comprise your Return on investment..
That person was so shocked,,,he neva asked me another business related question after tht.

The Train!!

Nopes you got it all wrong if you were expecting a review of the movie 'THE TRAIN'. Actually wats there to write ... its a typical Emraan Hashmi movie with a lotta titillating scenes and then some more ( a friend of mine has all the important scenes 'CUT' to size that nearly sum up the movies' worth :D ).

AC coaches are the corridors of opportunity for fantabulous stories to take shape was what my friend propounds. He has a story to support the same.

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http://TheFantabulousStoryThatStartedItAll.blogspot.com/

Long story cut short: they meet on the train, strike a conversation and neva look back

"Since then I have been in touch with her and we have been out a number of times. I guess she's the one." He says.

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Lets give this theory a try I thought. And so booked a ticket for my journey back home in a A.C coach ( Ahaa!! a corridor of fantabulous happenings :) )

Lugging my huge bag and my lappie along I got into the train, with great expectations of what could become of this, one day :D.

I entered the compartment and as I was searching for my seat, I could see a lean guy sitting in one of the far off berths. I prayed to god, please, not him, not beside me. God heard my prayers, but wanted to fool around I guess, and there, my seat was right opposite the Lean guy( from now on Mr.L). As I moved in, I found another guy right beside me(from now on Mr.V). " Hey there!", he said.
"Hi", I replied and settled in my seat. 2 down of 8 ( :( ) I thought.

Mr.L in the mean time removed a huge box and before I could blink, had gulped a couple of candies I thought. Having done this, he climbed onto the top berth and went into hiding.

Mr.V, as I had understood was in a habit of yapping and boasting and blabbering,
started to make friendly conversation about how he never had been to this place and how he had always stuck to Mumbai, about his passions and his job as a software engineer and his promotions and rupee appreciation and resorts and boozing adventures and just then I lost track of what he was yapping about.

As the train started to move a Fat guy ( Mr. F ) rushed in and I was sure it was 3 down, he waded past the passengers in between and reached to the place beside Mr.L. As I later found out, he was a Yapper , listener, yapper. So was in sync with Mr.V s' yapping.
Mr.F was some kinda pharma marketing guy who was there on a meeting which later in the chat I realised was a kinda court marshal for some gimmicks he had done in claiming travel allowances.(hes **cked I thought).

Two more stations and one more down! another marketer from a book publishing house this time. Meanwhile Mr.L got out from his hiding and opened his box which by now I had realised had medical/health potions. And there, he had a spoon of Chawanprash and licked the spoon clean. I was still wondering as to why he was carrying all that stuff on a overnight journey. Anyways he went in to hiding quickly and the next hour or so was like Yapp Yapp Yapp( Mr. V) and Yapp silence Yapp( Mr. F) ....

Mr.V and Mr.F continued there discussions as if they were long lost brothers.
Mr.V in his typical bragging style and Mr.F in his "I stil dont know why they called me here" tone.In the middle of all this, there was another of Mr.L acts of self medication when he climbed down and had SAFI...I was like only f***ng v***** is left now.. nuthgn else to swallow. he quickly climbed back in to his hideout( top berth).

After these series of unfortunate events Mr.V pulled out a bottle of vodka and invited me over. I declined the offer and climbed up my berth to sleep. Just then a couple walked in and occupied the passage way seats. I was too exhausted to think of anything else and just dozed off after counting 6 down and I guess no more to go :(!

Long story cut short: There are no fantabulous opportunties anywhere.

NOSTALGIA !!

Disclaimer: I have not still seen the movie ' HAPPY DAYS ' in telugu..... :) .... supposedly triggers nostalgia!! And people may /may not relate with the experiences....
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This conversation between DJ and SU of the Rang De .... fame sums up my dilemma and sets the persepective for this blog :( !!

To set the stage for ya... this scene is when after a gang outing, the gang goes to drop off Aslam ( Kunal kapoor)... and the jingle...tali gali tali gali... yaar ki gali follows...

Su: Kahan milte hain aise dost

DJ: hmmm!! Ek din ye sab kuch nahin rahega, sab apne apne raaste nikal jayenge

Su: Fir bhi kabhi kabhi tho mil hi sakte ho!

DJ : Hota nahin jee. wohi duniya de jhamele.. naukari dhoondo, paise kamao, ghar basao... de life de isharo pe nachte jao... TIM LAK LAK DE TIM LAK LAK... gate de is taraf hum life ko nachate hain..dooji taraf life humko nachati hain..TIM LAK LAK DE TIM LAK LAK...
mainu bas idhar hi rahna hain!

SU : kyun!!

DJ: Idhar ..log jante hain mainu... DJ di ithe koi aukad hain...log kehtein hain kuch baat hain DJ mein...kuch karega DJ....
lekin bahar duniya mein... ache ache DJ pis gaye!lako ke bheed mein............................


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NOSTALGIA refers to the feeling of longing for a past event( long gone and vaguely clear). It represents a yearning in the 'present for the gone and lost'. The reasons for the longing can be varied, but mostly vary from 'a fear of what the future holds' to 'the past providing a utopian escapade from the current ROT'.

Scientific Definition of Nostalgia:
It refers to "the pain a sick person feels because he wishes to return to his native land, and fears never to see it again".

From the late seventeenth century to the late nineteenth century, that doctors diagnosed and treated nostalgia, it also had other names in various languages — 'mal du pays' (country sickness) in French, 'Heimweh' (home-pain) in German, 'hiraeth' in Welsh, and 'el mal de corazón' (heart-pain) in Spanish.

Enough of the BLAH BLAH. Coming to the point, blogging off late has become a-kinda-unleash to the feelings seated deep within me, so I guess I am back to pen down my thoughts!

Looking at the Quarter Life Crisis directly in the eye now, I m beginning to yearn for the 'HAPPY DAYS' in the 'HAPPY LAND'. In the midst of this hectic life ( nothing much to do.. except the thoughts about 'what is in store' keep my head working overtime). I m really beginning to miss those times, when most of the days just revolved around things.. much simpler and mundane ( of the greatest importance then and I hope they remained so :( .... but no ).
Back then, the day usually was spent in getting to the school, hanging out with friends(all boys school :(( ), a lotta games, fun watching the then kido-gals in the school right beside ours ( :D ) , getting back, home-works ( rather excuses how notta do ) and such stuff.

The toughest of decisions included "what to do with a two rupee pocket money given for the day.... SAMOSA khaye ..ya chips .. ya fir kuch aur ..." Pheww!!! hardly remember a thing about school, but just the thought about those days seems to warm my heart!!!! Then came the more confusing times.. college...pretty confusing ha!! :)) . Each day a new learning and each thing a new experience....

The brand new ' Gang ' fomations, the inclusions and the ditches. Trying to stay along just to get a sense of belonging. The new crushes and some old...... I still clearly remember my first proposal... was a part of ragging... and I left no stone unturned to make a fool of myself : ) (typical filmi ishtyle...kneel down and all..haha). Still can easily recollect the first gang outing .... a buddy's budday... and our first interaction with the gang outside college... Just the beginning to the long four year bond we developed.

I can clearly see the day I got my new bike... and wooh I spent time, zooming on the street, flashing it around to all my class mates. My first night out with the my gang of brothers.
And the numerous times we had fun... the minor squabbles and pretty major ones..... the budday parties and the 12 o clock wishes.... the neva ending phone calls......the times when I acted stoopid and stayed away from the rest because of various reasons....,the exam time combined studies... All.. everything is still clear!! I guess the smile on my face is a testimony to the fact that I really hadda blast! MISS EM ALL!


With the final placements right around the corner and the college clock ticking so quickly ( last two months or less left ) ... I m not ready to go out as yet!!!! I believe for various reasons I m just a shadow of my past ...trying desperately to get back into my elements before its too late...


AS ROCKY SAYS : The world aint all sunshine and rainbows!Its a very mean and a nasty place.Noone cares how tuf u r ..it will beat u to ur knees and keep u thr permanently if ya let it....its gonna hit at you as hard as it cud.....But it aint about how hard u can hit,its about how hard u can get hit and keep movin forward,How much you can take and still move forward.


What if I say I don wanna get hit.. wat if I don wanna kno how hard or tuf I m or how hard I can get back... wat if I just don wanna tag along this life.... care free as I was then.....What if I wanna be 18 til I die!!!

Is it being very cowardly!! I dunno ,but I just don wanna go!

Cheers!!

I understand now??

It has been a while, since I have walked this path...just because I thought that I was over it. Hmmmm!! but no!!! its clear in my mind, I get vivid flashes of her and a sudden sadness dawns on me. It takes me a while before I forcefully fight it out and come to my senses. A conscious decision on my part to treat 'ME' in a fair manner I guess.

Last year at this time, I was in the worst phase of my entire pathetic life. I had come to know that I had lost her forever. It was actually harder than the time she left me coz I guess in my 'heart of hearts' I believed that she was feeling the way I did and that I would have her back some day and that I just had to have faith in her. I was not sure what I hated most ....that she left me behind or what she left behind. A pathetic loser ! with a dented soul, shattered confidence and with no real zeal for life.

I hated it when I saw her profile unintentionally, and it set an avalanche of sadness rolling in my battered heart. I pleaded with god to give me a sudden memory loss, so that I was completely unaware as to why I was so utterly dejected. But no!! he doesn't work that way!

I lived the life of a leper, not wanting to touch anybody for the fear of infecting them with my sadness and at the same time not being wanted as I was infected. I was so lost that I could hardly remember a time when I was doing what I was supposed to. I lost my granny at nearly the same time as this, but the worst part was, I was hardly able to shed a single tear. I guess I was 'stocked out' . Guilt now pricks me for not having done things at the right time.

Time passed and it passed really slowly for me.... making me pay dearly for all the pain I had stored in my heart. I was trying so hard just to breathe that I had forgotten to live. I barely made it through to the other side.

I found some solace in the small group I had formed here. It reminded of my Scot-free college life, when I was still the 'real me'. I stuck to the group as it made me nostalgic and gave me a taste of my past life... a life which I crave for even now(right at this moment). It also showed me that I was not alone in my pain, that the world was silently suffering along with me, not uttering a single world just like me, making fun of their harshest wounds and laughing out the past to get rid of it( I guess). The more I realised this, the more I tried to imitate them. I mastered the art of showing that I was happy( was I ??? neva know). I felt rejuvenated for the while I was with all (was I ?? neva know).

Then came the phase during which I dint give myself anytime to think about what I had been through and believe me it worked wonders for me. I was happy, literally!!!!!!!!!
I was transforming into the 'old me' I had been craving for(atleast at the face of it) . I did things which I had not done before. I lived life, like I had not lived before.( Whateva who cares!! I was at least living.)

Then came the summer and I was amidst people I had neva known before. It struck me that I could revert to my old ways of 'being pathetic' so I guess I forced myself onto them. I roamed around the new town as if they were the last few days of my life and made a conscious attempt to not give myself time to 'think'. We made a good group. Again.. I guess I was learning to act well or may be we all needed some company....

The summer was one great experience with me bonding well with the little stranger group..( if I m allowed to say so). Good time passes quickly ..and in this case it did. We were nearing the end of our term at 'my heaven' (thanks to my new group) , and a revelation was in store for me. Sorry I dint say this before, but it struck me hard... I was distraught between feelings of happiness and joy at one end and self-pity at another(for who else?). The occurrence reminded me of how in a short while my life had changed some time back. Had she faced similar situations like this one, I thought. I, for the first time was able to look at her side of the story. How in a short while and in all her innocence, she must have just done to me, what could never be undone. I was not sure any more of what I was to do. To go to her and tell her that I totally understood how she felt about what she did ..or to wait and re-analyse what had just happened. I chose the second option.

At the end of my paradise trip, I was back to where it all started, about an year ago. The same location, the same people, just a different backdrop. All of us a 'little new' and mostly same old, brimming with newer experiences. There I saw my second revelation!!!! One of my buddies was in many ways facing the worst time( as per me). The only difference was that, he was on the other side (her side in my story). For the second time in a short while, I was made to see her part of the game(right in front of my eyes.... as if I was watching her). I understood that what had happened had happened and may not have been a deliberate attempt to ruin what I had for some best years kept close to my heart!!! It made me feel sorry for what had happened to a dream woven by two people ( shattered ruthlessly by time). I m no more sure whether to blame her or not. I think I have for, reasons above found peace with myself????(have I..time will tell). The nightmares I have had are no more there. I don't seem to see her face anymore now!! I guess I understand that its not her fault.(Do I?).

The once tortured heart is back in shape but there are scars I don seem to remember why?

WILL I EVER REMEMBER AGAIN! ( I m not sure)
Time will tell , as it always has.


I DO UNDERSTAND! I HOPE!!!!!

CRASH!!

I was initially very averse of a movie titled in such a way. What can such a movie probably have... may be a couple of action scenes, a couple of super heroic stunts and all that we expect of a typical hollywood flick...(of course a raunchy scene or two)!! So whats gr8 about that I thought and let the movie stay rotting in my disk for long. But after having watched the movie I was sorry for not having seen it before. I am glad I could see it atleast now.

So whats this CRASH all about. Its about how people stay in their comfort zones and are oblivious of the happenings around them. It about suddenly feeling the jolt and then having to get back to reality. Some are sheer lucky to have had the experience, some lucky to have had the chance to be back before the damage is done..and some others are sheer unlucky...
The movie is about a set of people who are either too haughty, some too brash, some very meek all but the way they are supposed to be, doing everything except what they are to do and being oblivious of what they have. The movie revolves mostly around coloured people. How some of them act in ways that cause the whole of their people to pay. It describes how they are at times discriminated against.
There's the story of abusive cop who has a go at an innocent black couple and then fate has him to save the very lady he puts to shame. There's another story of a coloured Lock smith and how his daughter becomes the FARISHTA for a persian man. Then there's the story of a good white cop who in a moment of emotion ends up on the wrong side of law. There are a couple of other stories each potraying subtle emotions which pull a string at your heart.
The OST of the movie is good as well.

All in all "A MUST SEE".


signing off!